The Castaway - Chapter 7

I don't know if San Diego has a skid row but this certainly qualified. I counted six homeless people lying in doorways just within this block. The stench of urine overpowered the salty sea air. This was the part of San Diego you didn't see on postcards or travel brochures.

There was a secured entry so I rang the buzzer outside the Salvation Army Women's Shelter. A woman came to the door and greeted me with a pleasant smile. She probably didn't have too many people wearing a suit and tie come to the door. I showed her my badge and ID and she welcomed me into the lobby.

"I'm looking for one of your tenants," I said, "her name is Patty Novell. Does she still reside here?" I was thinking to myself, "Please don't make me go out on the streets searching for her in alleyways."

The woman gave me a peculiar look. "Yes, she's here, but she isn't one of our tenants. Ms. Novell is the director of this facility."

She lead me down a long corridor and I followed in somewhat of a daze. "She's the director?" I thought to myself. "Seriously?"

All of a sudden the game plan changed. When I arrived here I was ready to go after Patty Novell with contempt. I despised her because of what she represented. She represented the hundreds of drug-addicted mothers that I've dealt with in my career. The mothers who let their babies lie on dirty mattresses in flop houses, while they sit nearby putting needles in their arms, ignoring the cries of a hungry baby. The mothers who leave their children alone in a hotel room all day to fend for themselves, or worse, with some ghetto-rat boyfriend, while they go out to the streets and perform just enough fellatio to pay for the next rock of crack. Patty Novell represented the darkest ugliness of our world and I hated her before I ever even met her.

I wasn't ready to let that go and start singing her praises for turning her life around, but I admit, I was even more curious to meet her now. We arrived at the end of the corridor and the nice lady knocked, opened the door and peaked her head inside. "Ms. Novell, there's a Detective here to see you." She then pushed the door the rest of the way open and waved her hand for me to enter.

Patty Novell stood up from behind a big desk and came around to greet me with a handshake and a somewhat forced smile. "Good morning Detective, a personal visit usually means the news isn't good. Which one of my girls got into trouble this time?"

She must have sensed that it was worse because of the look on my face, or maybe my hesitation to respond. Patty's expression turned to a frown, "Oh no, please don't tell me one of them is hurt. Is it Katrina? She didn't come home last night."

Her motherly demeanor caught me a little off guard, but it appeared genuine. She seemed to really care for the women in this shelter.

"No." I said, "It isn't Katrina. This is about Rebecca."

Patty appeared confused for a moment while she searched her memory for a tenant named Rebecca. It was obvious that she couldn't place the name. Then it clicked. Patty's expression suddenly turned to something that couldn't be faked. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Well, the shades were just pulled back on Patty's eyes and I saw directly into a soul that has suffered unspeakable pain.

"Becky?" She quietly asked.

My contempt for Patty was suddenly gone. I was now looking at the face of a mother who lost a child years ago and stored away the guilt and the pain for over twenty years.

I've had to make this notification more times than I can count. It's never easy, but I have found that saying the words is like pulling off a Band-Aid. Do it and do it fast. The faster the pain comes the faster it begins to subside.

"We found her body on a hillside about four years ago." I said. "It appears that she's been there the entire time."

Patty buckled over like I just punched her in the gut. She went to one knee and put her hand over her mouth. The nice lady who first let me into the building came out of nowhere and was suddenly at Patty's side. It caught me by surprise, I didn't even realize she was still in the room.

Patty sobbed for a moment and the other lady began whispering scriptures from the Bible as she held Patty. I glanced down at the folder I was holding that contained the pictures of Rebecca's bones. I didn't feel like throwing them out in front of her anymore.

After Patty had a few minutes to recover from the news, we went for a walk and she gave me a little tour of the Women's Shelter. Patty explained how this facility saved her life in 1991, when she was addicted to methamphetamine and suicidal over her missing daughter.

Patty didn't make any excuses. She was very up front and honest about her mistakes and the poor choices she made. She said she was a prostitute, a drug addict, and a terrible mother to Rebecca in the 1980's. Patty told me that she lived with her daughter in hotel rooms and "earned" their rent on Oceanside Blvd. while Rebecca was in school.

Patty told me that Rebecca began to understand what her mother was doing and started objecting at about the age of 10. Patty said that when Rebecca was 12 they began having serious fights about Patty's drug use and prostitution. Patty said Rebecca would take off and stay with friends for a couple of days at a time, but eventually the parents would always send her back home.

Patty told me that one day in 1985, Rebecca was at school and Patty was "earning the rent" in the motel room. Patty said one of her "regulars" showed up without an appointment and became angry over the other man being there. Patty said the two men argued and then her "regular" pulled out a gun and shot the man to death.

Patty went on to tell me how she helped load the dead man's body into the trunk of the killer's car. She said she was terrified that he was going to kill her next and all she could think of was getting them both out of the motel room before Rebecca came home from school.

Patty told me the killer drove away and she quickly cleaned up the blood in the motel room. Patty said the next day, while Rebecca was in school, she went into the Oceanside Police Station and reported the murder. Patty identified the killer and the police captured him shortly thereafter with the body still in his trunk.

Patty decided it was time to get her daughter away from this lifestyle. Patty said her next decision was the best and the worst decision she ever made in her life. She went to the home of Rebecca's best friend, Kelly Pierson, and spoke to Kelly's mother. She asked if Rebecca could stay with her for a couple of weeks while Patty tried to get her life back on track and establish a safe and secure home for Rebecca. The mother agreed and Patty said goodbye to her daughter.

Patty told me, "Becky hated me for leaving her there, I could see it in her eyes. She had a feeling she would never see me again. I promised her I would straighten up and make a home for her and we would be together again real soon."

Patty stopped walking and leaned back against a wall. "Becky knew me better than I knew myself. She was right, that was the last time I ever saw her."

Patty told me that her plan to improve her daughter's life just turned into more "tricks", more drugs, and more depression. Patty said she has long periods of her life that are completely gone from memory. Her clearest memories are during short periods of sobriety when she was in jail. Patty told me that whenever she was forced into sobriety by being locked up, she would start thinking about Rebecca.

Patty told me that she tried several times in jail to get someone to help her contact her daughter, but she was always told that had to be done after she was released. Patty said she always assumed that Rebecca was okay because Kelly's family was nice and it seemed like a better place for Rebecca to be.

Patty told me that she tried to locate Kelly's house when she got out of jail once, but she couldn't remember where it was. She said she went to the police and tried to get them to help her locate Rebecca, but she couldn't remember the name of the parents.

Patty told me, "The police never really put much effort into it. They always asked me if I thought it was a good idea to show up in Becky's life again when nothing had really changed."

Patty said she would become extremely depressed at her failure as a mother and quickly relapse into the drugs and prostitution again. She said it became a never ending cycle, in and out of jail, suicide attempts, and a vicious downward spiral over the years.

Patty told me she woke up in the Salvation Army Women's Shelter one day and her life was saved. She said she was taken in and cared for and she began a drug treatment plan and counseling. Patty said she met other women with similar stories and a common bond. As she became clean and sober, she became stronger and she began to help other women get through the tough times.

Patty told me that she never stopped thinking about Rebecca. She tried several times to get the police to follow up on it and track Rebecca down, but in 1991 Rebecca turned 18 and the police lost all interest completely.

"They told me she was an adult now and she was free to live her life as she wanted. They told me that Rebecca would find me if she wanted to. I've prayed every day for twenty years that she would walk through that door one day and tell me she forgives me."

Patty told me that she was given a job at the shelter because she was successful at turning her own life around and her experience was beneficial in helping other women do the same. Patty told me that she found salvation in helping young women like herself to get off the streets and get clean and sober.

"This shelter became my whole world. Every time I helped a woman get off drugs and off the street, it brought back a little piece of myself."

Patty just stared into space. There was no need to say anything else. She accepted the full weight and responsibility for what happened to Rebecca. Patty was doing a good thing here and she was probably responsible for saving the lives of countless women.

But none of that was going to bring back Rebecca.